My anxiety has been acting up quite a bit lately. I can’t help myself. I find myself getting more and more insecure and just kind of losing myself. I have been playing this bike game, and many others to try to keep from going crazy lol. I am handling things a lot better than say, a month ago, but it’s still been very hard for me and I don’t want to back track and be like I was before. Sometimes I don’t even understand how my boyfriend puts up with me, because I’m sure I’m a very hard person to deal with. When you’re with me: when things are good, they are really good and when they are bad… well, you get the picture. Things are just really tough when I’m freaking out and can’t calm down my mind and my anxiety. Then, I’ll just sit there and cry for hours. It’s pretty annoying.
I am still working on going back to therapy but I’m a bit worried about it, because money is getting tighter and I’m so worried about being homeless or something.
Basically, my fears and insecurities are just taking over me lately and it’s been a very hard time. It doesn’t help that December is stressful because my grandma died a year ago this month and I’m worried about getting the perfect presents for everyone. Oh ya, and my dad is in In-House (rehab) for 21 days, or more.. depending on how well he does. I wish him the best, but I just don’t know if he is going to make his life better. I think he’s going to go back to his old ways.
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